Cottage Hospital

Charlton Park House 1914-1918 War Hospital Nurses © Malmesbury Memories

Fictional stories based upon every day random conversations held between
members of the workforce throughout the working week.

It was a very cold morning and workers were arriving for yet another day at the Treacle & Mint Experience. Suzy came zooming around the corner on her solitary ice skate, her other leg, she held up next to her head to aid the blood draining from her swollen ankle. Next around the corner came Andy, he was sat in a rocking chair being pushed as if on skis, this was due to a recent visit to ‘Debbie’s Operating Theatre.’ There then followed Megan with her phantom swollen ankle, limping furiously in sympathy with Suzy’s real ankle injury. A few minutes past by and this was followed with lots of giggling, then into view came Jade, hopping and limping alternatively on each leg, claiming each one was now shorter than the other due to an argument with her chickens. A thudding noise soon followed, and into view came Teresa continually head butting the wall, “Sometimes I say such silly things,” she kept repeating to herself. Dawn then walked rapidly into view, “You’re looking okay this-morning Dawn,” “Well I’m Not,” she snapped back! ..and how about you Karen? Karen was holding one side of her back and walking awkwardly – sciatica. A trumpet fanfare announced the arrival of one of the agency staff, it was “King Alfred,” sword through his stomach, dagger in his back, spiked ball and chain embedded in his neck, he’s taking this re-enactment hobby a bit too far I fear. Debbie shows up looking like Sir Edmund Hillary about to scale Mt Everest, oxygen bottles, and fifty two layers of clothing, hoody, scarf, balaclava and woolly hat, not to mention four pairs of mittens. Jason said he was feeling old as he slowly walked by using a walking stick. Simon not to be outdone had brought a Zimmer frame along, but was busy using it as a set of gymnasts parallel bars. Charlie was stood patiently in the background looking innocent of all crimes as per usual, only he seemed to have two green bins, one each side of his head, gaffer taped over his ears, and he was mumbling something about another day of Karen’s singing. Suddenly there was a Road Runner like blur as “Cool Hand Luke,” shot past as if Wile E.Coyote was in hot pursuit. Emma was still busy picking up papers from all over the road she had just dropped, her last fifty doctor’s vaccination appointments. Chloé was also being pushed to work still strapped onto the physiotherapists table, and fast asleep to boot, trailing behind her hypochondriac friend Leah, hot water bottles strapped to each limb and one stuffed down her trousers. “You alright Carol,” “No I @*%>|£+ ain’t.” Stress, burnout, too much pressure. Caroline Maze Master marched past looking as fresh and bright as usual, big beaming smile, and under one arm she carried what looked like a giant frozen newspaper dripping water every where, it was in fact an ice encapsulated Shane. Apparently Karen had shoved him into a frozen pond, just a friendly gesture to put him in his place, his middle finger still visible beneath the ice. Laura now walked by, her right arm heavily bandaged, notorious for her juggling activity of tossing everything she grasps in her right hand into the air and catching it – the kitchen knife now seems a bad idea. Rob was sidestepping everyone like a rugby player in full flow, ducking and weaving, popping up all over the shop and giving autographs to all and sundry. Finally Malcolm shuffles around the corner, sniffles, lifts his bleary eyes in the direction of everyone else, stops, focuses each eyeball one by one, realises where he is, and says, “Com-on everybody, Chop-Chop!” “Then a voice booms out across the whole of Wiltshire, “This is the voice of the Mysterons… We know that you can hear us Earthmen,” it was Captain (I’ve been ere since 6 O’Clock you Bastards) Scarlett.

Episode Six : Dawn of Diptych

“Any resemblance between the characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.”