Worthies Whopper

Worthies Whopper © David Forward

Worthies Whopper © David Forward

Sonic was neither half way up nor half way down, when she decided it was time to climb The Whopper. Fresh back from her acclimatisation trek across the coalfields of South Wales, Soondri took off her boots, you could still smell the anthracite dust as it spilt out over her carpet, she put on her roller skates, left the house for the slope and took up the pose of a down hill skier. She shot past the cemetery, you could see the fear in her eyes, but no sooner were her wheels turning, then she had to take a braking turn around the fire station roundabout. Leaving Base Camp Co-op behind with her skates, she commenced the ascent of The Whopper by the South West Face, it was ugly!

Two whole hours had past and Sonic was nearly half way up. She was just about to rope herself onto Webb’s Crag, when a voice called out from 10 yards away. It was Juliet leaning over her garden gate, al-right love she called out to Sonic, you look in trouble darling, I can have the Appliance up here in a jiffy if you like. Roy and the Lads won’t be too pleased if I don’t give them a shout though, so you’d better hang on in there girl. I’ll tell you what, I’ll make you a cup of tea and bring it across to you with a biscuit.

Meanwhile Susan Drew who had been asleep on Lorenzo’s bed room floor since 1973 was rudely awoken by her pager, she was looking after it for Patsy Dyer‘s brother who had dropped it in Hampton Street on his last shout. Sue decided she’d join the Malmesbury Lads and see if they could all rescue poor little Sonic stuck half way up The Whopper. Juliet had given Sonic Soondri some survival rations and popped back through her gate then down to the station.

With the blues flashing and two tones blaring, they quickly came to a halt at the bottom gate to the Worthies. Ollie leapt out with the bolt cutters and they were through. Juliet gave Red Dennis all the wellie it had but it soon came to an abrupt halt with its wheels spinning on the steep slope. Chris Harvey suggested they just extend the ladders up from where they were and Sonic would soon be in their safe hands. PC Humphries who had just arrived as they were putting Red Dennis back in the station had to call off Whiskey Hotel Nine Nine, he was always one for a Chopper up the Whopper.

Chopper Up The Whopper © David Forward

Chopper Up The Whopper © David Forward

Sue Drew who was used to walking up the hill, took Sonic back home and asked if she wouldn’t mind if she slept on her floor for a while as she was feeling a little tired after her hectic day out with the Lads on the Wild Worthies Shout. She awoke at first light and couldn’t wait to get back to Tetbury to tell her friends where she had been for the past 38 years. Sonic, never one for getting up early, slept in till one o’clock in the afternoon, when she finally got up and decided The Whopper wasn’t for her after all.

Malmesbury © Chris Harvey

Malmesbury © Chris Harvey

27 November, 2014
All images and written works by David Forward are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License