Dear Mrs Chicken

In reply to your enquiry about Amy Quink and Sarah Quill, I can tell you I am still in touch by email with both your old school friends although they are now both living in the US of A.

As fate would have it Amy married her childhood sweet heart Nobby Knibbs and they now live in the same town as Sarah and her husband Blotto Pad, your old next door neighbour.

I’m not sure if you know but Blotto now has his own business producing writing equipment sold all over the world. Do you remember he would always steal the school pencils and remove the lead, then suck the ink out of the desk wells, then seal up each end with bubble gum and smuggle it home.

He had a plan to sell it to all the Grammar School pupils along with all your mother’s feathers but it all went wrong when he was caught blue faced one day after he had sucked too hard.

Anyway by his naughty endeavours he went on to invent the Pen and then the Blopoint Pen. Of course you will have heard of the world famous company, Penns of Pennsylvania, well that’s him, the terrible Blotto himself.

I shall never forget when Mrs Potts our music teacher made him chew on several sheets of blotting paper just after he was saved from choking on all that ink he swallowed and spat out all over her sheet music on her piano.

Well, as you will most likely remember when in the last year, he was expelled and left Minety to live on his uncle’s farm in Pennsylvania, just north of Bath on the A46. It wasn’t long after that, that they all emigrated to America, where they bought a huge piece of land and started to farm it.

All the farm workers’ cottages soon developed into a small village and then a small town and so on, until it became the American Pennsylvania as we know it today and now the centre for world wide exports of his famous invention the root stalk pen, grown not only on his land but many other farms too, even the Chinese are now growing Penn’s Pens and selling them under licence.

So imagine if you had not runaway screaming from behind the cycle sheds when he tried to kiss you that day. You might now be the richest lady in the world. There again you would probably have had a blue tongue and lips for months afterwards.

Yours faithfully,

your old friend,
Freddy Floorboard