Interstellar Overdrive

The KLF also known as The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu

The KLF also known as The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu

Episode 4

The Justified Ancients of Mu Mu

Annetté was marching along the path, large Ghetto-blaster held upon her shoulder, blasting out Pink Floyd’s Astronomy Domine, heading for the Abbey and right on her heals like The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, dozens of Push Chair Rug Rats in tow, all seeking out Andrew Beebee and Inter-Stella Overdrive, for their Monday Morning Mash. Annetté kicked the door of the Abbey wide open with her foot, and marched on through, took her Ghetto-blaster from her shoulder and tossed it at Mary Fitch, who having caught it carefully set it down on the Font, then dished out the Croissant.

The pushy chair mums continued on into the Nave in a figure of eight around the columns in and out of the chapels either side, whilst chanting Beebee, Beebee, Beebee, Beebee, and drew to a halt two abreast in parallel lines up the Nave and began to perform an intricate ballet with babes in buggies. Dwight twirled his sticks, then performed a long ascending roll on the snare drum, crescendo rising until, with a big crash on his splash cymbals, all came to a stop. The only sound that could now be heard was that dreaded Boom-box blasting out the Beach Boys God Only Knows, and one other voice happily singing along right off key, that of Stella inside her kitchen, busily spinning plates on the forefingers of each hand.

Abbey Pipe Organ Pedals © David Forward

Abbey Pipe Organ Pedals © David Forward

The parents now formed a large circle in the Nave, darlings in their folding chariots all crying for attention. Mary Fitch returned from the store room clad in fluorescent jacket and cast her gaze around the circle at all the tiny tots, an immediate hush fell across the Abbey with the facinorous Fitch stare. Mary stood aside, mission accomplished and into the arena walked Andrew ‘The B of The Bang‘ Beebee. He cast around his inveterate smile at all the children who all began to laugh with the pleasure of such a sight. Andrew began his story – today children we are going to have a visitor from above, Andrew raised both his arms from his knees slowly until up above his head and pointing at, the Golden painted stone ceiling bosses, high up in the Abbey’s roof.

The Cholmondeley Sisters - c.1600-10 © Tate Gallery CC-BY-NC-ND 3.0 (Unported)

The Cholmondeley Sisters – c.1600-10 © Tate Gallery CC-BY-NC-ND 3.0 (Unported)

With all pairs of young eyes now gazing aloft, Mary’s brother Michael Fitch began to play the Doctor Who Theme Tune on the big Johnson Pipe Organ and rising slowly over the wind blown notes came the distinctive sound of a TARDIS Materialisation. Ruth stepped forward with a ‘Food Bat’ in each hand for ‘marshalling wands’ and pretended to guide down the TARDIS as if it were Dicky Dyson’s AgustaWestland AW139 landing at Filands. Right there in front of everybody it slowly appeared, push chairs all quickly gathered behind Andrew, and as ‘The B of The Bang‘ slowly brought his arms back downwards towards the floor, the door of the now fully visible TARDIS right there in the middle of the nave, slowly opened, and out stepped first Sarah to a gasp of delight from all, followed by a very embarrassed looking Lorenzo, Guid efternuin, hou’s it gaun?

At that moment in walks Diana Crowe with the new Vicar, not knowing where to hide her face she quickly improvises, ah yes what we have going on here is a modern interpretation of the Second Coming. The Reverend Jimmy Cauty then turns to Diana and says, yes I know this one well, before my Ordination as a Vicar, I was in a well known Scottish pop band you may have heard of, The KLF, we had a British number one hit single, “Doctorin’ the Tardis.”

Episodes

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17

“Any resemblance between the characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.”

11 October, 2017
All images and written works by David Forward are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License