Escape From Reality

1991.36.4 © Malmesbury Memories

1991.36.4 © Malmesbury Memories

Episode 2

Transportation Through Time

The Door opened, out stepped a giggling Sarah closely followed by a rather shaky looking Lorenzo. They both looked around in amazement at the abundance of Abbeys in the surrounding countryside. Every hill top seemed to have a magnificent Abbey built upon it. The scenery was nothing like the valley they had just left in the Borders of Scotland. Here it was all rolling hills, streams and water meadows.

“Well Sarah, you sure were lucky in bringing us here and not to some other desolate part of the Universe,” said Lorenzo taking hold of her hand tightly, more in fear for his life than a gesture of friendship.

Sarah stepped forward in large springy strides, arm trailing, dragging Lorenzo behind her, eager to explore. They soon found themselves sat down, sliding down a steep slope terminating at a broad shallow stream just below, and sure enough they ended up right in it up to their waists, still seated as if in a giant bath tub. Luckily when they stood up they realised it was actually quite a hot day and drying out wouldn’t be a problem, and so continued to play around in the pure clear water chasing small fish and splashing each other, like a couple of three year old children discovering the fun of jumping in puddles for the first time.

Ulrich Lindow Wood Sculptures Malmesbury Abbey © David Forward 2011

Ulrich Lindow Wood Sculptures Malmesbury Abbey © David Forward 2011

“Oh look Lorenzo, look look look!”

“What in the wildest dreams of Chaka Khan are those,” said Lorenzo, his eyes out on stalks.

Running down the bank of the river and wading across it just yards down stream were half a dozen giant chickens about four feet tall. Lorenzo now quickly moving behind Sarah, as if she’d be of any protection, suggested they both slowly made their way to the opposite bank and took some sort of protective cover amongst the bushes. Before they could move, the chickens turned towards them and began singing like song thrushes, only a few octaves lower and appeared to smile, as if that was at all possible of chickens, well they were giant chickens after all.

Sarah and Lorenzo peered from behind the bushes and decided the giant chickens were actually quite friendly as they were now whistling that familiar tune of the Bladon Races, really mind boggling indeed, but there again they had arrived here by TARDIS, so anything was possible, the same expression on both their faces as they turned to look at each other in amazement and disbelief. Before Lorenzo could even generate his next thought, Sarah was already suggesting that they should make their way towards the nearest Abbey.

“That one over there Lorenzo,” Sarah said with a optimistic tone too her seemingly fearless disposition.

And with that they struck off up the hillside.

Abbey Deeds Seal © David Forward

Abbey Deeds Seal © David Forward

On reaching the brow of the hill Green Bean and Purple Bean having recently emerged from their TARDIS pod, once again set eyes upon it, only now it was on the back of a ‘donkey cart like’ wagon, at an angle of 45 degrees being pulled by two oxen accompanied by what looked like two monks in deep Royal Blue habits. Without hesitation, and loss of all fear, Lorenzo cried out,

“Hoy, where are you taking our TARDIS.”

The monk leading the oxen turned to face ‘The Bean Duo’, and the one with a whip sat upon the cart, pulled down his hood and began to call out.

“It’s okay friends, we are taking it back to the Abbey for its first service.”

By now Lorenzo and Sarah had caught up with the wagon and its owners.

“What do you mean, service, since when did a TARDIS need a service?”

The monks explained that it was they who had built this particular TARDIS pointing to its chassis plate, much to Lorenzo’s surprise and astonishment.

“So how do you explain it being lost in Scotland then.”

The other monk, looking very familiar, took his turn to answer, while Lorenzo looked straight into Sarah’s eyes, and together they both whispered the same words.

“Do you see what I see.”

The first monk looked the spitting image of Andrew Beebee, and the second monk looked the spitting image of Michael Langtree. The second monk continued to explain.

“Another one of our Order of the Disordered, was taking this TARDIS on its first trial run and reported back that he had problems with it, and was in search of help, when he came across the cottage of Sir Malcolm Campbell.”

“That’s when you two found it and some how managed to get it working again, luckily it was preprogrammed to return here, rather than set to its final production setting, of wandering at random throughout Time & Universe. Why don’t you both hop aboard the cart and we’ll take you back to the Abbey with us and show you around”.

On entering through the walled surrounds of the Abbey, Lorenzo and Sarah witnessed only a sight Edwyn Collins could sing about, dozens of TARDIS every where, all being feverishly worked upon by other monks, again all in deep Royal Blue habits, but what was even more eye popping, they were all Andrew and Michael clones.

“Wait a minute”, said Lorenzo, “who is who?”

The first and second monks both replied in complete harmony:-

“That One’s The Doctor!”

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“Any resemblance between the characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.”

8 October, 2017
All images and written works by David Forward are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License