Dynamic Equilibrium

The Prodigal Daughters

The Prodigal Daughters

Episode 8

Return of The Prodigal Daughters

Annetté was busy checking the gravitational time dilation and frequency shift meters and decided there was an excess of red shift so immediately set the blue shift to the maximum setting of spacetime curve relative to our Solar System causing an instant Shapiro Delay allowing the TARDIS to ride the gravitational waves putting her back on course for Malmesbury.

Annetté was now able to breath a huge sigh of relief as they swooped low over the Dyson Dystopia enabling a double sonic boom to shatter some of James’ glass.

“Don’t look at me like that Sarah, I’m only following your knowledgeable guidance with the Portaloo Controls, how on Earth you managed to fly this thing all the way from Scotland I will never know.”

“Brains Annetté, brains, you know this stuff up here,” said Sarah tapping on Annetté’s head.

“Ark at ‘Ee,” I’ll have you know I once read the whole of the Dudley Telephone Directory in one evening,” scoffed Annetté.

Having discreatly hidden the TARDIS in its new hiding place, the old railway tunnel, Annetté and Sarah climbed back up, The Steps From Hell, that led into the Cloister Gardens and banged on the door of Cafe Apocalypse, whilst both shouting out for Stella to let them in.

“You two are looking a bit betwaddled,” said Stella hauling open the huge and heavy Elm plank door.

“Tis getting dimpsey out ‘ere,” remarked Sarah looking up at the fast moving clouds passing over head.

“Well Annetté, did you bring me the Staffordshire oatcake recipe?” asks Stella looking all presumptuous.

“Yertiz Boss,” says Sarah, unscrewing a crumpled sheet of foolscap and slapping it down on the counter.

“Hello, what’s this?” Sarah asks Stella, pointing at four, brand spanking new chairs, strategically placed around Table Number Four.

“Oh yes you two, quickly go and sit on those chairs and I’ll show you something, go on, I’ll bring you both a drink, then I can demonstrate.”

Longitudinal Section Through Abbey © Malmesbury Memories

Longitudinal Section Through Abbey © Malmesbury Memories

Annetté and Sarah make themselves comfortable in the new chairs opposite each other and continue to chat amongst themselves, whilst Stella conjurs up two hot drinks, then brings them over.

“Arn’t you having one with us,” asks Sarah.

“No I can’t demonstrate otherwise.”

“Why are we using the pottery mugs again Stella,” Annetté demands to know.

“You’ll see in a moment, just pretend you’re two fuss pots who can’t tip the mugs up far enough to get the contents down yer neck.”

Stella rushes back to the kitchen and hoists up a remote control from under the counter, points it at the other two, and suddenly from a little loudspeaker hidden underneath the table, a voice calls out, “Warning, Warning, Chair Now Reclining.”

“Whey Hey! this is fun,” shouts out Sarah, sinking slowly back towards the floor. “They can get the dregs out of their mugs now without having to push their noses in and use them as straws, brilliant stuff, they also get a good view of the roof too!”

“What do you think Annetté,” asks Stella.

“Oh leave me here, I could just do with fourty winks right now after my hectic ride in that Portaloo.”

“What do you think Sarah?”

Sarah replies in a deep voice and half an attempt at an American accent, “CapCom, we’d like you to stir up the cryo tanks.” “Okay, Houston, we’ve had a problem here.”

“I’ll take that as an approval then Sarah, shall I?”

“Annetté suddenly awakes and breaks into song, “Ground Control to Major Tom, Take your protein pills, and put your helmet on.”

Stella walks out into the nave, looks up, and says,

Beam Me Up, Scotty


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“Any resemblance between the characters in this story and any persons, living or dead, is a miracle.”

13 October, 2017
All images and written works by David Forward are licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License